Belonging at NCS

How new students, faculty, and staff are welcomed into the community

Navigating the New…
Settling In…
Finding the Way…
Making Friends…
Feeling at Home…

There’s a difference between “fitting in” and “belonging,” and that difference can be life-changing.

Fitting in means altering who you are in order to be deemed worthy. Now more than ever, children and adults are bombarded with messages about how to look, what to wear, what to pursue in life, even what to think and believe, all in the name of “fitting in.” Trying to fit in is often devastating to emotional and physical well-being, according to a new Wall Street Journal study.

On the flip side, one’s sense of belonging comes from being seen and valued for who you are, as you are. Belonging is discovering where you want to be…and finding that you are welcome there. Belonging is healthy and uplifting. 

Helping every student, family, faculty, and staff member gain that sense of belonging is central to NCS, and a range of programs welcoming newcomers helps the school fulfill that goal.

Recent research conducted by the University of California, Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center found that students who feel a strong sense of belonging are significantly more engaged. They are more likely to join in the life of the school and make meaningful connections with peers, faculty, and staff. Further, students who feel they belong earn higher grades and opt into—and triumph in—more difficult courses. Ultimately, a sense of belonging is a sound indicator of academic success, according to the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development. Similarly, the Australian Journal of Teacher Education found that one of the main reasons why teachers leave a school is because they don’t feel connected to that school. NCS is committed to helping adults as well as students find the all-important security that comes from knowing they belong.

The Newest of Newbies
Every incoming 4th-grade student is new to NCS. Helping these children feel connected from the get-go is the focus of homeroom teachers, the admission team, school leadership, and, importantly, current NCS families.

In the spring, when rising 4th-grade students have accepted their admission offers, no time is wasted in helping them make new friends. Parents with an older NCS student (in addition to an incoming 4th grader) volunteer for the school’s Welcome Committee, overseen by the Office of Admission and Financial Aid and the Parents Association. These parents serve as a bridge between new families and the school by organizing low key “meet-and-greet” activities over the summer, such as picnics and tie-dying parties.

This helps students to get to know each other in as relaxed a manner as possible. Fourth-grade homeroom teacher Kathy Kiernan gives major kudos to NCS parents. “Not only do the Welcome Committee volunteers go above-and-beyond, but I think it’s safe to say that families across the board make an extra effort to help new students and their parents feel at home.” To that end, the entire first trimester is devoted to helping these youngest of NCS students feel grounded.

The Thursday before school starts, student ambassadors from the Upper School tour the campus with 4th graders and organize bonding activities that foster friendships. The first official day of school for 4th graders is devoted to play with-a-purpose, such as name games and scavenger hunts though Whitby Hall. Students are prompted to identify 10 things about themselves—a treasured book or a favorite food—and then find new friends who share those interests. It’s a great icebreaker, and the students are thrilled to find that they have so much in common with their classmates. Similar activities are held throughout the year to help keep the momentum of building connections strong.

Prep for Success
Students new to NCS need not be concerned that classmates already attending the school have a significant advantage. For seven years, the Prep for Success program has helped give incoming students in 7th through 10th grade a running start to their year.

“Girls who have been here since 4th or 5th grade know our academic expectations, have experienced the Cathedral, have friends, and recognize the key adults on campus,” explains Director of Enrollment Wendy Wilkinson. Wilkinson oversees the Prep for Success initiative and observes how the week-long lineup of “get-to-know-us” activities and subject-specific overviews help new students feel at home in their classes and on campus.

“Usually, we try to get the students a taste of what academic life is like, offer them the opportunity to get to know some of their classmates, and to, generally, have the students on the first day of school not feel the anxiety of a new place quite as much. This year, because the pandemic kept so many students at home and away from friends and classmates, our focus was to really bring in the warm, supportive, and loving NCS community vibe,” says Devon Williams, Upper School social sciences teacher and co-director of Prep for Success.

Prep for Success is largely run by student interns who have already been through the program. Working within a framework set by dedicated faculty and staff, the interns arrange information sessions and bonding activities, provide peer-to-peer answers to new students’ questions, lead tours of the Close, and make certain that every newcomer has a friend to sit with at lunch and during presentations. The goal is to cultivate a deep sense of belonging in every new student, a security that will stay with them throughout their time at NCS.

Four of the five days reflect one of the NCS core values: conscience, courage, service, and excellence; activities align with that day’s theme. For instance, on courage day, the students may build inner courage thorough physically challenging exercises like ropes courses. Community service projects are slated for the service day. Each day allows the chance for the new students to engage in a writing and self-reflection project called “What’s My Story?” At the end of the week, the students courageously share these stories with one another in the Cathedral, almost as if each speaker was delivering a homily. “Not every student has had the same opportunities for public speaking that our current students have had. Sharing these personal narratives in these small, safe groups bolsters their self-esteem and helps ready newcomers for upcoming leadership opportunities,” says Wilkinson.

New student Paris ’25 appreciated the chance to navigate campus and find her classrooms ahead of the Opening Day crush. The “find someone you haven’t met and introduce yourself ” activity helped her to form new friendships. But it was the “What’s My Story” exercise that has stuck with her. “I wrote about my mother, a strong woman who has survived two wars. What she misses from that experience is not the possessions she lost along the way, but the simple pleasure of getting together with her family and friends. It made me realize that material things don’t last, but loved ones remain with you forever.” Sometimes befriending a new side of you is as important to your sense of belonging as meeting new friends and teachers.

New Faculty and Staff Find Their Footing
“Newbie jitters” aren’t confined to students. Adults, too, can feel adrift—and more than a little self-conscious— when walking into a new workplace. NCS’s robust faculty and staff orientation program helps allay those concerns by equipping adults with knowledge and friendships to begin their tenure smoothly.

Head of Lower School Becca Jones runs the new faculty and staff orientation program, and she remembers clearly how it felt to be a newcomer. “I came from teaching in public schools, and the way things are done at independent schools is very different. It was overwhelming and a bit unsettling.” Professional development opportunities offered by NCS gave Jones the chance to attend workshops and seminars specializing in onboarding and retaining staff. She parlayed what she learned into refining a year-long familiarization process that helps teachers and staff “know what they need to know about NCS and connect with people they can turn to for support.”

Whether they start their NCS work during the winter term or over the summer, all new faculty and staff members attend the late-August orientation. That means that some will have had several months of on-campus experiences, while others are learning the ropes for the very first time. “Some teachers have been here for a while and are eager to get back to their classrooms and prepare for Opening Day. We build space into the orientation schedule to allow for time in their classrooms, studios, and labs,” explains Jones. Indeed, the week long program aims to balance four aspirations: learn, breathe, socialize, and prepare.

During orientation, newcomers are given a folder full of resources and information: maps of the school and the Close, handbooks, reference sheets, a roster of key people and their positions, a glossary of terms, helpful hints, etc. They are also given a checklist of questions and targets dates by which they should know the answers to those questions. Overviews are given on important topics such as Mission and Traditions; Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion; Teaching at a Girls’ School; and Child Protection Training. Icebreakers, refreshment breaks, and communal lunches offer time to make new friends.

Optional restorative activities might include an outdoor yoga class or an afternoon creating with clay in the ceramics studio. NCS recognizes that bonding with other adults is key to helping new faculty and staff acclimate. Every incoming member is matched with two mentors, an academic mentor—usually from the same department, who will shepherd teachers through the particulars of their specific subject area—and a peer mentor, who introduces them to the life and traditions of the school and plays a more community-involvement role. In addition, a wide selection of affinity groups, comprised of veteran as well as incoming faculty and staff, provides the opportunity for newcomers to broaden their network of friends with similar passions.

From the onboarding workshops she attended, Jones learned the importance of offering orientation-style opportunities throughout the full first year of employment. Mentors check in on a regular basis, making sure that their mentees are settling in smoothly. Cohorts—the group of newcomers who go through orientation together—meet monthly for Q&A sessions or to hear from guest speakers; they also get together during the year for happy hours. Regular new teacher meetings with division heads are helpful for strengthening connections. Jones points out, “My open-door policy makes conversations easier. I get to know the new members of the team on a personal as well as a professional level.”

For new faculty member Kamara Vendryes, this year’s orientation had special meaning: “I was hired during COVID-19—my interview was conducted over Zoom—so I had never seen the NCS campus before. I was incredibly moved by how beautiful it is, and having a mentor show me around helped me appreciate it even more.” Vendryes enjoyed the orientation’s balance between meaty information sessions and less structured social time.

Whether child, adolescent, or adult, having what you need to feel at home is the secret to belonging. And belonging is a fundamental value at NCS.

Written by Sarah Valente, a freelance writer and creative director based in Washington, D.C., this story originally appeared in the Fall 2021 issue of NCS Magazine.